He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
