Having a random hookup so left but love u
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
