i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize
