and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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