only if we run a train.
done.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
