last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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