This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
