You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
