I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
