i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
