all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
