He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
