Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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