We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
