Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
