my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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