I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
