i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize