Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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