If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
