I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I deserve this hangover.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
