so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
