Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
