nutella sex= disaster
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
