I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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