as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
should my penis look like a turkey
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
