She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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