what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
