Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
