She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
