the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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