You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize