margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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