I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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