ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
