it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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