Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
