do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
