can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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