Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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