Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
