We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
