I showed him my bush... on skype.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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