Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
