The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Ladies don't puke and tell
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize