we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She needs sedatives and a leash
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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