I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
ok first of all what the fuck
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
