did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
