No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize