was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
