addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Randomize
