Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
