based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
