That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
