If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I intend to get homeless drunk
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
