Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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