I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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