I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
