Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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