I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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