Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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