Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
