obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
