dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
