oh god the rape fog is back!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
