Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
