she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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