Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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