For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Houston, we have a squirter
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
