i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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