Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
