only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
