capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
