you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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