blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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