He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize