i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
