You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
