We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
